Mitä astronautti sanoi kun pieraisi?
– Ilmalukko petti.
– Ilmalukko petti.
Miksi tarvitaan miljoona siittiötä hedelmöittämään yksi munasolu?
– Koska siittiöt ovat miespuolisia ja eivätkä tietystikään kysy tietä.
– Koska siittiöt ovat miespuolisia ja eivätkä tietystikään kysy tietä.
Miksi kutsutaan miesten versiota radiokanavasta menaiset?
– Munaiset
– Munaiset
Vampyyri meni baariin ja sanoi baarimikolle
– Litra kokista
– Litra kokista
Tiesitkö, ettet ole täysin hyödytön?
– Sinua voi käyttää huonona esimerkkinä.
– Sinua voi käyttää huonona esimerkkinä.
Mitä eroa on blondilla ja keilapallolla?
– Keilapalloon ei mene kuin kolme sormea kerrallaan.
– Keilapalloon ei mene kuin kolme sormea kerrallaan.
Mitä eroa on nunnalla ja pannulla?
– Pannu on pannut
– Pannu on pannut
Lyhytkasvuisille kaunottarille tulossa uusi TV-kisailuformaatti:
”Haluatko pienoismalliksi?”
”Haluatko pienoismalliksi?”
Olen uusi kaupungissa, saisinko ajo-ohjeet kotiisi?
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk: ”I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
”About 32.” is the reply.
”Nope! I’m exactly 50.”, the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies: ”I’d guess about 29.”
The woman replies with a big smile: ”Nope, I’m 50.”
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds: ”Oh, I’d say 30.”
Again she proudly responds: ”I’m 50, but thank you!”
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ”Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out: ”What the hell, go ahead.”
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says: ”Okay, okay…..How old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says: ”Madam, you are 50.”
Stunned and amazed, the woman says: ”That was incredible, how could you tell?”
”I was behind you at McDonald’s.”, he says.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk: ”I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
”About 32.” is the reply.
”Nope! I’m exactly 50.”, the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies: ”I’d guess about 29.”
The woman replies with a big smile: ”Nope, I’m 50.”
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds: ”Oh, I’d say 30.”
Again she proudly responds: ”I’m 50, but thank you!”
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ”Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out: ”What the hell, go ahead.”
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says: ”Okay, okay…..How old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says: ”Madam, you are 50.”
Stunned and amazed, the woman says: ”That was incredible, how could you tell?”
”I was behind you at McDonald’s.”, he says.
Miksi blondi peruutti lentokoneeseen?
– Koska oli ostanut peruutusmatkan.
– Koska oli ostanut peruutusmatkan.